Exercise 2 - The benefits

All books on exercise programs try to sell their unique brand of exercise by listing its benefits. Mostly these are that you will probably never die if you follow their advice, or that sexy men and/or women will swoon around your body. Most even propagate both benefits.

The fact is that their programs will change your body shape. Either you are going to look scrunched up, dehydrated, like a jogger; or you are going to look like the bouncer at the local strip joint. The best alternative would be to look like the bouncer because then you might suddenly get a few more gay friends, the joggers just get no friends other than other scrunched up dehydrated joggers.

In fact, I think some of the female bouncers at my local strip joint looks rather attractive, and so do their lady friends.

So here is a list of benefits you will get with this program:
1. You can sleep later in the morning.
2. You can come home in the evening and have a beer rather than go running pointlessly around the neighborhood.
3. Your disposition will improve, from day one. You will not be walking around stressing that you did not get your exercise yesterday.
4. It will be as if a load is dropped from your shoulders, immediately.
5. You will have more time during every day to do things that you really enjoy. And if you do not then this is because you are already addicted to the heroin high. Yes, you are a druggy and the only cure is rehabilitation.
6. You will save a lot of money you wasted on special orthopedic designed shoes that you then submit to strenuous wear that no shoes, or feet, were designed to endure (marathons).
7. You won’t feel guilty when you drive around in your car.
8. You will probably start to enjoy nature around you the way nature was intended to be appreciated.
9. You will find new friends, and will discover a different dimension in your existing friends: those that are serious joggers you will now discover are very shallow people with little interest in the important things in life, those that are not joggers are interesting and diverse people.
10. You will discover your couch and television. You paid a lot of money for them, and before you start this program you probably felt guilty about using them.
11. Your shoulders will straighten, you won’t slouch, your legs will stop cramping, and you will be taking deeper breaths with every day you are on my exercise program.
12. You will stop feeling superior to other people, so they will start to like you. Nature in tended us to be part of the tribe.
13. You will stop feeling guilty about the food you eat. After all, nature evolved in a way that it supplies is with a great variety of food. We evolved in a way that we have the means to appreciate different types of food because they are good for us.
14. You might even start to accept that cigarette smokers are not drug addicts intent on killing you slowly using the weapon of mass destruction called secondary smoking, but people enjoying their drug the way you used to enjoy your heroin addiction.
15. Your spouse might even start to love the new improved you – this is seldom an immediate benefit because there will be a lot of baggage you need to get rid of. (Like all the time you did not spend at home when you are out jogging, cycling and then when you were at home you wasted time recovering rather than giving her attention). But, it will come in due course.
16. You can start my exercise program immediately without investing in any expensive equipment other than my book. And, what the hell, if you are reading it then you already spent the money.
17. You will be much less focused on your own body and ways of improving it.

THERE ARE MANY OTHER BENEFITS BUT I AM SURE YOU CAN THINK OF SOME YOURSELF.

PLEASE MAIL ME YOUR THOUGHTS ON THESE BENEFITS.