This is the first chapter of the second book. You can look at the archives and the chapters for the Lucky book is so indicated, as will the chaapters of this exciting book on how to live healthy like nature intended.
I have spent most of my life studying exercise. Like any good coach I have done this largely by observation from the side-line, and like any good coach I have a lot of wisdom I can depart to the players (or even the other people on the sideline). A lot of what I have learned I learned from nature.
The main lesson I have learned from the experts is: NOT ALL FORMS OF EXERCISE IS EQUALY GOOD FOR YOU. The corollary to this fact is that: EVERY FORM OF EXERCISE IS IN SOME WAY BAD FOR YOU!
I recently visited the UCT Sport Science Institute which is located next to the famous Newlands rugby field in Cape Town. It is a four story building with a huge swimming pool in the ground floor, and the SA Rugby Board’s offices occupying half of the top story.
Guess what occupies the whole 1st floor? Suites for a large number of medical specialists: Knee Surgeon, Shoulder Surgeon, Heart Surgeon, etc.
It is a fact that the supply side of the market will follow the demand side. In short, Al Capone robbed banks because that is where the money is. Obviously these surgeons have figured out where the market for there services are: The sports Science Institute.
This is where Prof. Knokes study what happens to people during exercise by pushing people to do all kinds of exercise that are supposed to be healthy for them. He is often interviewed on TV and quoted in magazines on the topic of how healthy exercise is, but these never mention that a whole flock of surgeons has collected around his institute.
As someone standing next to the sideline when massive numbers of people run marathons I am constantly amazed by the number of heart-attacks that are reported after the event. None of these heart attacks occurred among the spectators, and very few among the couch-potatoes watching the event on TV drinking beer, despite the fact that the health fanatics predict that the couch potatoes are the ones prone to heart attacks.
I have heard that one of the benefits of regular exercise is that should one have to run to catch a bus or train one will not keel over with a heart attack. As a youngster this was an impressive argument, and I did occasionally jog, so that I won’t get a heart attack running after a departing train. Fortunately I then realized that I never have to run to catch a bus or trains, one can always wait for the next one.
In London there are some x million people using the underground. Most of them do not look to me like they have ever run a marathon. I am yet to see dead bodies lying strewn out on the platform while the loudspeaker system says: “Mind the Gap”.
I am convinced that there are more people dying of heart-attacks while they are exercising so that they won’t get a heart attack when they try to catch the train, than what there are people getting heart attacks when they occasionally try to catch a departing train.
I am also convinced that there are more people getting damaged while playing rugby than what there are getting hurt watching rugby (at the field or in front of the television). Obviously I am talking proportionately – there are more people watching than what there are playing so the odd death or injury among a spectator is to be expected. It is the players that end up in the surgeons’ suites at the UCT Sport Sciences Institute.
It is not the intention of this book to propagate that people should stop playing rugby. I love to watch rugby and for me to be able to watch rugby one needs people that play rugby. It is just that there are many people like me that prefer others to be the hurtee than to be the hurted themselves, and who love to watch sports on television where other people are hurting other people.
The form of exercise that I think should be legally banned is jogging. It is number one on the list of bad things to do to you. Unfortunately the training for most sports involves getting fit, and this is mostly seen to be best done by jogging.
We can rest assured that jogging will never be banned. Politicians that smoke will ban smoking, but politicians that do not jog will not ban jogging. The reason is that there is too much vested interest involved (read MONEY). All forms of sport has become big time money makers, and no-one will attempt to ban the sports, and, as I said, to practice the sport always involves jogging for fitness.
Imagine all the money that will be lost if all the big stadia in the world stands empty, the television channels have nothing but reality shows to broadcast, beer companies cannot sponsor events and use the money to reduce the price of beer, no-one is lying on the couch drinking beer in any case, etc. Imagine the loss to BA if they cannot fly half the Super 14 teams and their accompanying trainers, physios, bag-handlers etc. between New Zealand, Australia and South Africa for 14 weeks each year!
So jogging will never be banned – it will be a world-wide economic disaster.
There is no-one more self-righteous than a jogger (not even a golf-player). If there are two at the bar one can be assured that at some stage they will introduce the topic of jogging into the conversation. It is not the introduction of the topic, but the self-righteous we-are-superior way they will do it: “How many miles a week are you doing?”.
What they forget is that to be a good jogger one needs to have a body that nature never intended. Throughout nature, and even in mankind’s history, the king always has a well rounded body. The specie of the species that survive through propagation are seldom the scrawny example.
Not only do good joggers start of with the type of body that would have ensured they take no further part in the evolution of human kind, but they then proceed to make a bad job worse.
As a student of jogging I have come to realize that the most important thing about jogging is the way that you carry your upper body – it has very little to do with what you do with your legs.
Firstly you have to hunch your shoulders, pull your neck in as far as possible. Then push your face out a bit, but not so far that you cannot see your toes anymore. Clutch your hands, get them chest high and not move them while you jog. Only once you have this upper-body posture right can you start to worry about what you do with your legs.
You can watch any good jogger and you will see they take ‘the posture’ before they start. If a jogger stands up straight like a normal person, opens their chest so they can get fresh air into it, swings their arms so that their shoulders unwind, they are not true joggers. If they look around at the beautiful scenery that nature provided them taking deep breaths of fresh air, they have not jogged more then once or twice in their life. If they, God-forbid, smile, then this is their first ever jog.
Once an experienced jogger has ‘adopted the position’ they will start shuffling their feet. The idea is to not lift their feet more than 2mm above the ground. A good jogger will rather run around a stone in his path than lift his feet to get over it. It is important to not ‘stride out’ as if you are enjoying a nice walk and getting your lungs filled with fresh air and enjoying it.
Doing this regularly leads to the well known problem of “joggers body”, which is especially noticeable in women. The body actually adapts to this jogging pose even when it is not being used to jog. Women, especially, start to get a hunch-back. Their shoulders sag and since their boobs are attached to their shoulders their boobs sag with their shoulders, as it is being pulled back into their hunch back.
Jogging causes unnatural leg muscles to be used, certainly not the muscles nature intended to make for show-off legs that attract male attention. Female joggers’ legs can easily be recognized: it is the pair that no man is looking at when they are on the beach. In fact the same can be said for the upper-part of her body as well.
With this ‘joggers crawl’ it takes a while before the pain sets in, and then they still have to turn around and jog home. Jogging is not worth while unless one gets to the pain threshold (they call it ‘hitting the wall’) because this is when the heroin is released in the brain. This heroin induced trip is what jogging apparently is all about. So in the period before the heroin is released the jogger goes through extreme pain. This results in them grimacing – which is what one does during an extended period of pain. This grimace becomes a natural feature of a female joggers face.
Again one can recognize a female jogger just by watching how the men ignore her based not only on her funny body but also the grimace on her face. One look at her mouth and you know this is one sour bitch that you are glad someone else married. (Hopefully the self-righteous specimen you met at the bar the night before.)
Serious joggers not only look as if the Juices of Life has been extracted from them, but in many ways the juices of life has been extracted from them. It is a well known medical fact that they struggle to procreate – both the male and the female jogger has problems in this area. This only gets worse the longer they jog, and often the only medical advice is for them to stop jogging for a long time if they hope to procreate.
This is a serious threat to the species.
You might well ask: If they struggle to procreate, why do they consider themselves to be the King of the Jungle? Why they are not bred out of the human race?
The answer is simply that jogging is a modern phenomenon. When I was young my parents did not jog, and did not even think they had to jog. None of their friends were jogging. Early mornings the streets were as nature intended them to be: quite and peaceful, no dogs chasing joggers, cars swerving to avoid joggers, etc. No-one sat in their car worried that the jogger coming past them in the traffic jam might get a heart attack and you will be late for work.
The good news is that it is only because your parents lead a healthy life and did not jog that you are here to read this. If they jogged you might not have been here, or you might have been made artificially by insemination.
This is the theme of my book: jogging is artificial, and I use the word ‘artificial' in its strictest sense as meaning ‘unnatural’.
A much more natural, and healthy, option is offered by nature. This option has been tested over millions of years by a process called Evolution. There is no need to find modern evidence for its benefits such as is being done by scientists at the Sport Science Institute, where the physicians gather to get their patients.
I call this the ‘Lion and Springbok Exercise Program’, based on nature.
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